u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
