im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
