Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
