so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
