Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
