in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
