I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
