If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
