Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Are we still banned from the library?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
