I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my sisters under your porch take her home
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
