Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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