Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
