this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
