Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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