laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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