He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize