One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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