ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
