Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
