have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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