yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
