at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
