Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
