you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
