found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
