Can Purell be used as lube?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize