the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
