WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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