Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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