if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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