What a fucking waste of an outfit
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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