it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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