And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
