Where are you?
In a non slutty way
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
