Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
