Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
