I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
