I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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