the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
