Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize