I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Someone shit on the floor
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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