I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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