Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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