1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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