Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
