I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
