A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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