I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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