He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
