Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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