We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
