Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
