I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
