he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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