i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
