I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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