got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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