My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
