my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
