Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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