I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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